She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
