My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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