Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She bit a glass in half.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Randomize
