If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
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She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
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And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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