I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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