I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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