I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
