also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
