the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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