So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize