you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
