He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Pooping to opera.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
