You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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