And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Someone came in the potted fern
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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