ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
