I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
