I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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