You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
