That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
