so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
