i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
even my farts smell like vagina
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize