why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
