if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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