Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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