thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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