pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
