I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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