You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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