I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
