We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
