I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
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Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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