smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize