He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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