I didn't shave. On purpose
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
