Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
areolas are like halos for boobs.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
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Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
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I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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