It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize