i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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