watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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