Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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