i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
