Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize