Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
