so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize