So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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