She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
