No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
