I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
