in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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