Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this beer tastes like vomit already
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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