Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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