I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
