saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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