Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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